Our guest writer, Buff Staysail, has been living it up in the south of France covering the start of the first celebrity yacht race from Monaco to Miami. Without further ado, lets get an update from the Buff-meister himself.
Houdy folks, its Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature.
Well that sure was some crew party the race committee threw last night. There were pints of cocktails, gallons of champagne, and swimming pools of beer and from the state of my head I drank them all!
And the girls - wow! Even a winging pom like you JP might have got lucky with one of them - I was right in there with that Bond girl Eva Green ....
[Ed: sure looks like this is classic BS!]
...if we hadn't been rudely interrupted. You probably heard all about it - the Gallagher brothers fight - and yours truly was right in the heart of it. Those Manchester rockers, crew of the "Definitely Will Be" were challenged to a fight by Robbie Williams & Jay Kay.
So far so predictable. But then the brothers fell out as to who would deck "the wimp" and who "the ponce", ending up using those names (and many others) on each other. Noel tried to get Liam in a head lock, before Liam rammed Noel in the stomach, winding him but not so he was unable to kick Liam in the balls. Ha ha ha!
Much fun and merriment was had by all except those who had to pay for the two mirrors, twenty seven glasses, fourteen plates, one table, three chairs, four pairs of glasses, two mobile phones (both pink Razrs), and a dozen bottles of Crystal.
The only downside to old Buff here was that in the confusion and side bets on the which Gallagher brother would end up on top (that's 50 euros I'll never see), Eva Green slipped off to "get some fresh air" with Jay Kay.
Meanwhile Robbie went back to his boat for a quiet cocoa and early night - if only we had been as sensible.
But back to the race. As I look out at the scene in the morning sun, the boats are streaming out of the marina, flags flying, masses of paps fighting for the best shot, free drinks, flares left and right, girls in bikinis, jugglers, bands, more free drink, pounding sound systems, all under bright blue sky on this most exiting of days.
The farewell gig is in full stream echoing around the docks and if Chris Martin and Sting want to get their boat "Eco Warrier 2" to the start line they've got to put down those mics and leg it like they've never legged it before.
Oh, and what's this! Yes, its the Jessica & Ashlee Simpson boat, "You what?"! It's turning back to port - what's going on there! Must be something seriously wrong.
Go to go - theres a rib out there with Buff's name on it - more later....