Yes, it's time for another report from our guest writer, Buff Staysail, well known for his unique style of writing. Take it away, BS!
Howdy folks! Yes its Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature.
Got a world exclusive for all you celebrity sailing fans out there. Ol' Buff got the inside after being tipped off from this bloke who'd had even more cold ones than yours truly. And on hearing the news I knew JP wouldn't mind me tapping his credit card for a flight to Ibiza.
Why Ibiza you say? Well check out the latest from JP's web tracker (see below). As you can see most boats are tacking their way up to Gibraltar, but one has diverted to the famous party island.
And boy do they know how to party! I hooked up with these Ozzie two girls who were well impressed when they heard about my skippering a boat on the Sydney Hobart. We were there on the beach when the boat sponsored by Fat Face clothing pulled in for what the youngsters there were calling a beach rave!
Apparently the skipper, one Normal Cook, was known for his "DJ" skills, not that I'd heard of him. But who doesn't know his crew mate, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, a big favourite of Buff's. She can take me home any day!
There's been some controversy about the gig as race organisers are saying that connecting a 40A 120V cable to power the sound system counts as external assistance - to say nothing of the many beers, burgers, spiffs, and who knows what else handed over by an adoring crowd.
Anyhow, being the only sailing journo on the beach it was up to me to get that interview, so after a couple more cold ones I grabbed transport (a lilo) and paddled out.
[Ed: for technical reasons the interview is only available as a transcript]
BS: Hello, it's Buff Staysail here, sailing journalist
NC: Soph, its some journo
BS: So you didn't mind the sponsorship of Fat Face then?
BS: What with your fat face and all?
BS: Didn't they call you an alien rhomboid?
NC: Easy mate, they sponsored us for me, you know, Fatboy
BS: Eh? You're not fat?
SEB: Who is this joker?
NC: Its a bit rich, I'm mean look at him?
SEB: Yes, he's only just afloat
NC: So, all I'd have to do is...
BS: Hey! Don't do tha......
[Ed: at this point the recording ends. Sounds like its just as well too - can't apologise enough to both Sophie and Norman]