As the remaining boats on the Celebrity Yacht Race pass the Canaries on their way from Monaco to Miami one is behaving very erratically.
As can be seen from the Google Earth fleet tracker above two boats are far to the south. While they are going faster they haven't gained much in longitude and have the extra climb in latitude at the far end. However at least one of the others is worried and changed course sharply.
But one of the Open 60s is dodging between the islands - and for times like this we're pleased to bring back on-board our resident on-the-spot self proclaimed expert, Buff Staysail, known to one as all as BS. Take it away Buff!
Howdy folks! Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature!
Boy is it good to be talking about sailing again after the last disastrous trip that's best forgotten [Ed: full story here] and hey JP bone to pick - what have you been telling my old mum back in Brisbane? Well, it might not have been you. They do have the internet at her nursing home.
She might have paid the cc bills you got lumbered with but she's going to charge me for it and boy if there's one thing thats still sharp with her its her memory. Thats two thousand bucks I'm never going to see again. I really need to get a real reporting job soon or there'll be hell to pay.
I guess I deserve it. One or two or three too many tinnies. On the wagon at the moment - how can you brits drink this tea stuff. Tastes of damp dish cloths.
Anyhow, yes, I've got the scoop on the wayward boat. Seems that "Eco Warrier 2" with Sting and Chris Martin have gone off dolphin and whale watching. There was this word that a pod was around the islands and they couldn't say no.
Now Chris Martin is so infatuated with them that he says his next kid is to be called "Bottlenose" but if you ask me that is just asking for trouble.
Then they heard how semi-submerged containers are the latest sea eco menace and they want to find one. Thats right folks, while most sane sailors avoid them like the plague they are out there trying to hunt one down.
Hope it doesn't sting them! This is BS, signing off!
[Ed: with puns like that, just as well]