Thursday, March 29, 2007

Celebrity Yacht Race - Von Teese goes South

The Chilli Peppers on "Red Hot" are threading their way between the islands of the Bahamas, victory in their sight. Behind the rest the yachts in the Celebrity Monaco to Miami fleet are in hot pursuit, hoping against hope that the leaders will slip up.

All the fleet, that is, but one. For Marilyn Manson's "Dita Von Teese" is heading at right angles to the way home, heading almost due South.

Our own guest writer, Buff Staysail, got the scoop again - take it away BS:

Howdy folks! Its Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature!

The race organisers have been scatching their heads and consulting the head shrinkers as to what on Marilyn Manson can be up to this time. After - allegedly - having a helping hand in the mystery of James Blunt's loss overboard, he has recently changed course and is now heading not for land but towards the deep oceans.

To try and get some answers I picked up the trusty sat phone and dialed the number that many have fan have asked a pretty penny to get. It was a pretty far out experience again, so rather than putting any of ol' BS's spin on it, lets hear the man raw.

MM: mrrr yerrrs?

BS: Hi, Marilyn, its Buff Staysail here again. How are you?

MM: mrr.....rrmmm.....f***ing fine...... t***er on phone

BS: Er, yes, well wanted to ask whats wrong and why you're heading south?

(long pause)

BS: Hello, you there? Mr Manson?

MM: mrrrr... aaarrr.....fine....mraramgrr... peaceful out here..... mmmrr keeping going......

(pause)

BS: Does-

MM: arrhmm.....r..... Ipanema girls......rrmmm

BS: So are you heading for Brasil then?

(sounds of heavy breathing)

BS: Is there anything you need?

(line goes dead)

So there you have it folks! Shades of Bernard Motessier, as Marilyn Manson gets the sea bug and rather than coming in is heading back out.

Though of course Motessier kept going for his love of the sea, while Manson is off to see the girls of Brazil!

This is Buff Staysail, saying "Boa noite"

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