Saturday, September 14, 2013

Buff's Commentary on AC Race 8

Alas we are unable to publish the web link for Buff's live feed due to technical reasons (namely he forgot to tell anyone what it was). But not all is lost as here's the transcript:

BUFF STAYSAIL
G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature! You're joining me LIVE for race 8 of the America's Cup, here in sunny but breezy San Francisco!

It's another day but will it be another walkover for those all conquering Kiwis, relentlessly marching on, victory after victory...

MAN'S VOICE (PRESUMABLY JOE)
Here's your latte with extra caramel, Buff, on the house here at Joe's Java Cafe, where we roast the best coffee in all California!

BUFF STAYSAIL
... er... thanks... er... due to financial constraints at Queensland Community TV we're relying on corporate support - in particular good wifi!

Anyway, aren't these foiling yachts AMAZING. I can't get enough of watching the cats fight it out - who can?

WOMAN'S VOICE
How DARE you! I am member of the animal lovers league and it is appalling that in this day and age that grown men can admit to forcing cats to fight!

BUFF STAYSAIL
... er... ma'am... I'm doing a broadcast....

BOY'S VOICE
Mum, I think the fat man is talking about that movie where dogs take on the cats.

BUFF STAYSAIL
No its the AMERICA'S CUP!! I'm Buff Staysail broadcaster and journalist!! Reporting for Queensland Community TV on THE sailing event of 2013!!

Anyway, on with the show!

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology you can listen to my commentary over a retransmission of the live video feed - if you have the bandwidth! Which we do thanks to Joe's Java Cafe!!

LAPTOP
(beep!)

BUFF STAYSAIL
Yup, this is so amazing even my laptop is beeping excited! The two teams are just seconds away from entering the starting box!

LAPTOP
(beep!)

BUFF STAYSAIL
..er... not sure why its beeping like that.. er..

BOY'S VOICE
Your laptop's battery's flat

LAPTOP
(beep!) (beep!)

BUFF STAYSAIL
Aaaah! Hurry up and start!!

LAPTOP
(beep!) (beep!) (beep!)

BUFF STAYSAIL
So this has been Buff Staysail, reporting from San Francisco on Race 8 of the America's Cup, over and-

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