Friday, April 01, 2016

HMS Victory to be re-named!!

The huge PR success of the public naming of the polar research vessel has inspired the Portsmouth Historic Dockyard to repeat the project.

"It opened our eyes" said a PR flunky. "What coverage!! We could, like, totally do with that!!"

Given the restoration will cost an estimated £ 45m and take up to 20 years, public engagement was decided to be key.

"This is a unique opportunity. We are rebuilding Nelson's flagship - so why not rename it at the same time?"

Currently the top three names on the public poll are:

  1. HMS Boaty McBoatface the Second
  2. HMS Lady Hamilton's Love Boat
  3. HMS Waterloo

"Clearly we had to ensure a certain level of quality in the naming process" said the PR flunky. "Not any name will do for this historic boat. So we employed the Microsoft Twitter AI to filter out the bad ideas - in particular anything to do with frog's legs. Maybe it needs a bit of historical context too - I mean, Waterloo indeed!"

Rumour has it that HMS Belfast and the SS Great Britain are also considering name changes - so watch this space!!

Update: alas, last time I checked the web site to submit names was down... will post an update when there's more information as to what's going on

Update 2: it appears that someone submitted the name "HMS Trump" to the web site, at which point the AI built its own firewall and submitted a bill to Mexico for its development. After that it began to make racist comments and had to be switched off

Updated update: and its a winner for Boaty McBoatface!!


O Docker said...

What? They're changing the name again?

Didn't they just change it last year to the Coca-Cola HMS Victory ?

JP said...

Sounds like you and Tillerman are suffering from deja vu all over again

The Drumpf said...

We don't win any more. We will have so much winning if I get elected that you may get bored with the winning. We will rename all the ships in the US Navy. We will have USS Winning, USS Winning Again, USS Not Bored With Winning, USS Victory and USS Another Victory. We will be smart. We will make great deals. Believe me, I make great deals. We will have USS Melania and USS Ivanka. Believe me, I agree, you'll never get bored with winning.

JP said...

OMG! Is this blog giving free airtime to The Drumpf!

The Drumpf said...

Check out your readership numbers Captain JP. They are through the roof. Everyone loves me. The blacks love me. The Hispanics love me. Whatever show I am on gets terrific ratings. Chris Matthews never had such terrific ratings until my appearance on his show this week. Everyone loves me. Every time I leave comments on your blog you will have your best audience numbers ever. I don't need to pay for time on blogs. Bloggers love me. But if you don't treat me fairly I won't appear on your blog any more. Ask that second-rate bimbo Megyn Kelly. Very weak. Very bad. I treat women very well. Women love me. Bloggers love me.

JP said...

The statements "everyone loves me" and "bloggers love me" seem counter to the observations I have made on this subject: can you any provide empirical evidence? Also, for the record, the blog hits on this page are just 0.12% of that of the most popular post.

Luckily I'm not in it for the readership numbers so its absolutely ok if you have a problem with a spot of fact-checking

Bursledon Blogger said...

I vote for HMS Hardy or SS Laurel

O Docker said...

The only numbers I can find that are up as a result of the Drumpf candidacy, JP, are the numbers of Americans applying for UK citizenship.

Tillerman said...

Considering the Drumpf's latest pronouncement that he can envisage using nuclear weapons in Europe, then moving to the UK may not be such an attractive option any more.

Has he threatened to drop the bomb on Australia yet?