Boris Staysail's vinning sailing "alternative truths"

Zdravstvuj!

Vings are looking up for Boris! P. in Moscow approves big time! I am in the inner circle viv security clearance - vanks to my alternative sailing truvs.

I told T. that it was good news! America has von the Vendee Globe!! Great America IV has stormed to victory after Armel Le Cleac'h sank and Alex Thomson was eaten by a giant shark! Is all true!

I hav a new bestestish plan, big, big money, big, big win. Ve show that America is open to all! Yes, everyone is velcome to the next America's Cup apart from those from the following countries:

• France
• Japan
• New Zealand
• Sweden
• United Kingdom

Alas sailors from these countries will be denied entrance until we can work out what they are up to.

Some may say that this is illegal, immoral and unconstitutional but ve say, our hackers be interested in knowing your email? So maybe you joke? Ve are the best jokers:



 Do svidaniya!