Monday, June 04, 2012

Diamond Jubilee: Buff's sad story

G'day all! Buff Staysail here! Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Jeez, what can I say? It's not my fault, really, its that Laser.

It was all going so well despite the pommy rain, nipping in between the boring motor boats, having a laugh about how those rowers "do it backwards" until just after going under Tower Bridge (how cool was that?) I realised we were about to pass the Queen.

Obviously I wanted to do the right thing so stood up to salute at which point the stupid boat tipped over. I mean, honestly, who designed such a ridiculous thing?

So I goes head first into the drink - no dry capsizes here - but Buff had done this before, sort of, so knew the drill. Something about standing on the dagger board and then clambering in as it comes up.

Well I got back on-board ok, but felt this cool air around my privates and rain drops on my bum: my shorts and boxers had stayed in the Thames!

Fecking jeez was that police boat angry. You'd have thought the Queen hadn't seen an arse before.

Before you could say "transported for life" I was hauled away and spent the rest of the afternoon "at her majesty's pleasure".

This is a humbled Buff Staysail, just wanting to hand back to JP asap, over and out!


Tillerman said...

LOL Buff. I think you'll soon be "bound for Botany Bay."

O Docker said...

Buff, I think you've discovered something every good journalist knows about covering major national events, but I've never seen the principle illustrated so literally.

Fighting the crowds and security to get where you need to be is always a royal pain in the arse.

JP said...

Oh Buff, what can I say?