Tuesday, September 16, 2008

US Candidates Sailing Top Five

Our roving reporter, Buff Staysail, recently had an exclusive opportunity to interview both candidates to be VP, and ask them about their views on sailing. Alas ol' Buff was to distracted by a certain lady to remember anything about what they said regarding policy and the two party's positions on the US's Olympic sailing strategy.

As BS has gone awol, saying something about shopping, we sent an email to both Biden and Palin asking them for their top five sailing inventions.

And they replied! So in alphabetic order its Biden first then Palin.

Our top five sailing inventions are:

5) Reefing, that allows a single sail to change its area, to keep the ship safe during the stormy periods such as we see now

4) Watch systems, that allows the crew to change over, allowing a fresh crew to take over, full of renewed energy needed to keep the ship going forward

3) Cabin, that allows a crew to go below, get a warm drink and change of clothing, protected from the harsh elements

2) Rudder, that allows a ship to change its course, to get clear of the rocks and out of the storm, and into the calm and safe waters under a strong Democratic leadership

1) The Flag, US of course, the one thing we'd never change!

Well g'day to you! Our five are:

5) Guns: you never know what dangers you'll come across when you leave the safety of good ol' American waters - pirates - or even worse - Muslims! Even on a Laser there's room for a handgun, and there's no doubt that they would reduce the need for a protest room! Remember - an armed race is a polite race!

4) Mums: there's a lot of talk about soccer mums or hockey mums, but lets not forget the sailing mums! Bringing the boys and girls their apple pie down by the slipway!

3) Water boarding Well the liberal media won't let me say that, so on I'll go with the Republican candidates previous suggestion of Bombs! With the war on terror and the French out there you can't go wrong with a bit of bombing - so look out Geneva Yacht Club! Good way of catching fish too!

2) Knives: when you've got the fish how do you gut them? With a knife of course!

1) Our flag - we are proud of our country where you are free to sail with guns - surely sign that we're on a mission from God!


tillerman said...

Love it. If I do another Top Ten Sailing Blogs list again this year you are guaranteed a place. You deserve it for this post alone.

Aaaaah sailing mums. I could tell a tale or two about sailing mums from my six years as a sailing instructor. In some ways the hardest part of the job was dealing with the mums.

JP said...

Thanks Tillerman

Love to hear those sailing mum stories!