Friday, March 28, 2008

US Candidates Speak Out on Sailing

There hasn't been an election like it. Not just two but three candidates battle it out for the world's most powerful position. They have been questioned on every subject from abortion to Zaire - but where do they stand on yachts and yachting?

Our roving reporter, Buff Staysail, has caught up with them and has this world exclusive!

In their own words, oldest first, its McCain, Clinton, and Obama!

Senator McCain:

To be a leader in the world of sailing you need experience and the knowledge to be strong. In the America's Cup I started sailing in my youth against Tom Lipton with the traditional J-class yachts and have great respect for the modern 12 metres and the current holders, our allies, the Australians.....


Sir, sir (whispers) pssss.... mumble.... Alinghi..... Geneva Yacht Club .....

Senator McCain:

But there is also a security issue here. Sailing is critical to the Global. War. On. Terror. Its is only by being strong and using force that we can win back the cup from those French....



Senator McCain:

We and our Navy need the resolve to use any means, any force, any weapon to reclaim what is ours, to continue the project started by our current leader. It is only through use of force that the U.S. can be respected.

It reminds me of that great song:
(sings) Bomb, bomb, bomb; bomb bomb the boats!
(up a key) Bomb, bomb, bomb; bomb, bomb the boats!


Senator Hillary Clinton:

I'm pleased to be able to stand here and have a conversation with you about sailing. If the call goes out at 3 am asking who is on watch, you want someone on deck with the experience, someone who has been there.

And I was there back in the "Bosnian" America's Cup where I remember so clearly the race in which I helmed America V to victory. It was a particularly tough race with not just gales but also sniper fire whenever we were on starboard tack. The other sailors were hiding behind the bulk heads but as first lady I stood tall.

Then there was the time I was skipper of the top Whitbread yacht as we powered round Cape Horn. The engines were overheating, we were driving on fumes, and there were 100 foot waves as we hit 50 knots!


Er.. mmummblle.. diary.... video clip.....

Senator Clinton:

It seems I have mis-spoken and I wasn't actually sailing those yacht. Goodbye!

Senator Obama:

I have a dream (cheers) I have a dream in which the great people of America (cheers) whatever their colour, whatever their background, not just work together but sail together (more cheers!)

I want to see a new America! To change course, to see America no longer the terror of the seas, but shining bright, the light-house on a hill, to plot a new, safe course for not just for our great country (cheers) but also for the world (big cheer).

And the Americas Cup - can we win it? (shouts of yes we can!) - should we reach for it? (cries of yes, yes!) - yes we can, yes we should and yes we will win! (huge cheers!)

For this country to stand tall again, tall as a tall ship, give me your support, so we can sail together out of the storm into calm waters sparkling under the warm summer sun (cheers)

Thank you! (cheers! and chants of yes we can! yes we can!)


Tillerman said...

Brilliant. You captured them perfectly.

Except I am sure that McCain would also have mentioned that his father and grandfather were Admirals.

As far as I know none of these three actually sail as a pastime in real life, though McCain must surely have learned to sail at Annapolis if not before.

JP said...

Thanks Tillerman - and a topical update on McCain. Coincidently I was just reading today about his visit to Annapolis.

I will tell ol' BS off for his poor research.