Wednesday, December 01, 2010

The Crystalline DHMO Projectile Menace

Today we welcome a guest columnist Glenn Beard, a man not afraid to speak out!

Friends, I am here today because I am mad! Mad at our do-nothing government that is putting our children, our country - which I love! - at risk.

The respected experts at Big Bills Inc have spoken out about the dangers of Crystalline DHMO Projectiles and the lack of preparedness of our country, and we should listen to them. For the truth is shocking - let me spell it out

(going to a blackboard and writing)

FACT:  crystalline DHMO is available NOW on the streets of London!

FACT: crystalline DHMO projectiles can be launched at a moments notice!

FACT: our children are at risk from crystalline DHMO projectiles!

(beginning to weep)

Friends, I love our country, and I fear for our children and their future. What must we do to alert the authorities of the danger of crystalline DHMO projectiles? When will the complacency end?

Could it be that the only thing that will waken this country from its slumber if the authorities themselves are targets for crystalline DHMO projectiles?

Now of course it is not for me to threaten, but if an honest member of the public were so enraged by the failings of the current administration to target a crystalline DHMO projectile at our leaders, then there would be many that would understand.

(drying tears)

For I still believe in this country, a land of warm beer and bad cricket!


O Docker said...

FoxNews now reporting crystalline DHMO is being stored in banks in the heart of London.

Follow the money, JP. Funding for the projectiles must be coming from a secret slush fund.

JP said...

That makes perfect sense!

If a couple of years ago the banks were trying to corner the market in crystalline DHMO that could explain why:
a) they lost all that money
b) they are now trying to flood the market within unwanted crystalline DHMO

Follow the money indeed