Monday, March 07, 2011

The Buff Competition Service

G'day all! Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature!

Well I see that over on Proper Course Tillerman has announced the winner of the navigation competition. Well I must admit to being a spot disappointed - not 'cos missed out on winning as I've borrowed ol' JP's copy (JP: bring it back!!) - but because Mr T. didn't use the services of Buff Enterprises to run the competition and award ceremony.

Yes, here at Buff Enterprises we can offer a full range of services whatever your budget!!

1. Coach Level ($)

This is your basic package: you get a blog (natch!), twitter feed, facebook page, bots to flood the internet with comments, premium rate number voting lines, a lady with a home-made sign (her above) & guests arrive by inflatable dinghy.

2. Gold Level ($$$$)

This is where it gets interesting. In addition you get camera crew and YouTube uploaded video, lights that swivel up and down, theme tune that goes De-De-De-Dah as per Who's a Millionaire, dedicated hosted web site on own domain, clips of Simon Cowell saying rude things about the entries, runner's up play-off, generic winner trophy etc etc, guests arrive by launch.

3. Platinum ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$)

This is what it should be about, the works! You get full networked TV coverage, guest judge Simon Cowell (for real), presenters Charlie Sheen (includes free beeper, note: no-non-appearance insurance cover, drinks bill NOT included) and Anne Hathaway (multiple costume changes must be negotiated separately), red carpet, fireworks, after event party, guests arrive by helicopter, customised gold plated trophy etc etc

Extra services ($$$$ variable)

Just ask and we can arrange:
- Lady Gaga performance with bizarre but publicity raising costume
- Costume malfunction (note does not include FCC or other regulator fines)
- Charity auction of places on day sail on AC33 winner USA-17
- Buff Staysail as after dinner speaker (DJ / tux included!!)

Yes, let Buff Enterprises take over the competition and award ceremony and we can make "The Tillies" the competition event for 2011!!

This is Buff Staysail, your host for the evening, over and out!!

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