Thursday, June 02, 2011

Buff's Brilliant Buoys (TM)

G'day all! Buff Staysail here - Buff by name and Buff by nature!

My eye was recently caught by this beaut idea, namely an amphibian ice cream van. So there you are, kayaking down the Thames, roasting in this ripper of a pommie summer, mouth all parched like, then what would be better than a nice cooling ice cream! Ok, a nice cool beer, but you get my drift.

Of course this is all some sort of PR stunt, and it wouldn't be practical in reality, what with the high price of labour and diesel in the UK. But, thinks I, what if you could automate it all? You could instead of an amphibian van have a vending machine on a buoy!!

Just imagine - you're out in a Laser regatta or kayaking with mates when all of a sudden you realise you've left your sun cream and hat behind and your head is beginning to glow. No worries - just sail up to the Buff's Brilliant Buoy (TM) moored just by the windward mark, push a couple of buttons and you're sorted.

Now at this point JP started muttering about how he leaves his wallet at home when out on the water - typical downer. Think lateral, says I, we'll sell pre-paid Buff's Brilliant Buoy's (TM) charge cards!!!

So you just buy them onshore (with £5 or $5 non-refundable deposit and if you drop it over-board don't blame us, so what if the water-proof coating is a bit slippy???) and woosh, there you go, easy access to that chilled Mars bar, just when you need it.

Buff Enterprises is also planning an offshore version, which will stock nicely chilled white wine for the yachting community and offer telecom services including wifi hotspot to download GRIBs.


So boating bloggers and readers, time for a little customer survey - what do you want to see in your Buff's Brilliant Buoy (TM)?

This is Buff Staysail, over and out!


Tillerman said...

Uncrustables! of course.

Baydog said...

Oysters, of course!

O Docker said...

Popcorn, of course!

Buff Staysail said...

Baydog: excellent idea. We could put Buff's Brilliant Buoys (TM) on bits of pristine seabed where the water is pure enough for oysters and then advertise it as "dive your own" site - hence get the sail by trade. When the oyster bed is depleted all we have to do is move the concrete mooring block to another less polluted site.


Tillerman said...

What's the correct way to eat an oyster while sailing a Laser?

Buff Staysail said...

Tillerman: moor your Laser to your local Buff's Brilliant Buoy (TM) and accompany your oyster with some of its uncrustables and popcorn!!

Tillerman said...

Well, I talk about buoys,
Don't ya know I MEAN buoys,
Well, I talk about buoys, now,
Aaahhh, buoys,
Well, I talk about buoys, now,
What a bundle of joy!

Is this your entry in my Beatles project? (Boys was a song sung by Ringo on their first album)

bonnie said...

Johnny Depp.