At JP HQ a sight strange could be seen - JP's jeans empty! Discarded as if the soul within had disappeared! And verily it was indeed the case that JP's soul had left the soil of Earth and was to be found floating upon the Sacred River.
Thanks be to our
But like the pilgrims of old there were challenges on the way to righteousness. The river was in ebb, taking JP not up but down river, passing Battersea Power Station where fires as hot as hell once burnt, ever on down towards the modern Sodom and Gomorrah, under Vauxhall Bridge and on-towards that nest of sinners, Westminster!
For trusting in man was shown to be false as the temporal authorities of the PLA had decreed that low water was at 11:09 GMT and at 12:30 BST the tide was still flowing out! But like a true Pilgrim JP turned his trusty kayak against the flow and headed back up river.
And he was rewarded by the elements which soon were calling JP's soul, ascending ever upriver. Passing the new Eden of Chelsea JP was greeted by a host of
So it was that JP did ascend the sacred river in rapture, till he reached his reward - a bacon sandwich. And it did taste of Heaven.