G'day my fellow Americans! Any questions?
Is Buff Staysail your real name or is it actually something like Islam?
Are you kidding? I'm Buff Staysail!! Buff by name and Buff by nature!!
Is it true this story we hear about you behaving inappropriately with the fair Sabrine during the America's Cup in Valencia?
I have no recollection of the incident you are describing.
What's your foreign policy, Buff? How you getting on with your Uzbekistans and Azerbaijans?
My peep are on the case and have told me what to say.
Buff squints so he can read out the following text written on his hand
I love Israel above all else ...er... and my foreign policy documents will have ... er... the words "Pro Israel B.S." stamped on them.
What a fibber you are Buff! All this stuff and nonsense about being born in Hawaii - it was in the Royal Brisbane of course! Didn't stop crying for a whole day!
Ma? What are you doing here?
You drag me all the way from my cosy retirement home to hear you say you love this Issy floosy above even me!!
Ma, not now!!
You come home with me right now young man! And I discover if you've been misbehaving on those trips to Europe you'll be in real trouble!
Buff Staysail (exiting)
Oh no! Looks like Buff won't be allowed out for a while.
Maybe you Americans have something else to be thankful for.