Yup, it's the second half of Buff's horoscopical (JP - is that right?) review of 2011!
Already there's been HUGE interest and ol' Buff is going to mint it with the Buff Astrological Hotline - so call NOW on premium 486284. It's easy to remember: think BAH premium HUMBUG!!
Anyhow, here goes:
July
July the 1st, that's the date, big things expected star wise with eclipses, great crosses, you name it!! It all means you'll have itchy feet, wanting to dance those nights away or swim the wild seas. It's a time for new acquaintanceships with your social life going bonkers - so see you at the bar!!
August
If you're thinking of entering in a competition this August then BEWARE!! According to the stars you should watch out for a dark man calling for "water" at the windward mark!! Doom will be yours if you do not listen to this warning!!
September
Uranus will be retrograde this month that will be as painful as it sounds. Yup, its the month to be careful of injury: duck your head low when the boom heads over, keep that lifejacket on and check the kayak spray deck has that handle thing the right way up.
October
Pisces is joined with Aquarius for a rare conjunction this October and that can mean just one thing: you should make sure sea food is on the menu!! The ides will be good for scallops at some New Jersey restaurant, so swim over there and follow your nose!
November
The nights are drawing in and Saturn is retrograde which all sages know means one thing: time to get those oars out for a good hearty row. Just make sure you don't catch any crabs - they should have been eaten LAST month! - geddit!!
December
It's the end of the year and Sagittarius is rising like the pong wafting up from the Thames mud banks. Look up to the silver moon, watch its light reflect in the waters and remember the year and all the good things it in.
Yup, that's a wrap, 2011 in a nutshell!
Remember for a full update call BAH premium HUMBUG!
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