Wednesday, March 04, 2009

What TV program is the Vendee Globe?

I posted previously how the Volvo TV show reminded me a bit of Top Gear as its rather un-PC but with high entertainment value. And I still do - can't you just picture the scene:

INT: Studio, big sign says "Top Yacht". Three presenters are doing the cool wall.

Clarkson (for it is he): So what do we think, Volvo 70s, cold or super cold?

Audience, misc: cold! Super cold! Freezing! etc etc

Clarkson: You know the old Volvo 60, good yachts, but these new ones. God they're fast!!

Hamster: That's right, that extra 10 feet make all the difference - and there's a canting keel too!

Clarkson: The power is just awesome, I just can't say no to it

HamsterHammond: The Stig took one out for a spin - think I saw him hitting 40 knots on the Top Yacht course.

May: Of course they'll need ice gates now.

Clarkson and Hammond look at him in disgust, shake heads, raise eyebrows etc

May: If they're going 40 knots and hit an iceberg its all over, all this fancy carbon fibre, give me solid steel any day.

Clarkson: Well, thank you Mr Health and Safety, but who cares, I want one.

He slaps picture of V070 at the ice-cold end of the board and the audience cheers.

You see what I mean? It would so work.

But what TV show would the Vendee Globe be? I haven't had chance to see for myself what its actual TV coverage is like but it surely would be more character based. Maybe a TV drama series - or even dare I say it a soap.

The skippers would be the focus, not the just the power of the boats, and interactions between them drive the story forward, with a cliff hanger at the end of each episode:
- when will the curse of Mike Golding strike?
- can anyone get to poor Jean le Cam before his yacht sinks?
- who will get in first, Roxy or Safram?

and of course:
- When will Elies be rescued, broken leg and all?

There'd also be the light humorous story line to keep spirits up and Sam would do her bit with stories of lost chocolate, karaoke, iPod dancing etc.

Of course a soap never ends so it can't be that. I'd suggest a drama like Lost but that series is just too irritating. So maybe something classical, like Dicken's Bleak House, printed in 20 instalments.

What do you think?


Carol Anne said...

I could suggest a telenovela. While soap operas as we know them are endless, the Mexican version has a finite number of episodes. You still have all the drama, but you do eventually reach an end, after 40 or 50 episodes.

As regards your earlier post about challenges of watching sailing on TV, it's even more challenging in the southwestern US, where nobody's interested in sailing. Strangely, I can watch the VOR on a Spanish-language channel. I agree, it's exciting to watch, even if I know very little Spanish.

Smilicus said...

Love that show. Top yacht would be awesome

David Fuller said...

The only problem with the Top Gear show is that because it is equipment based, you could only do one. Once Clarkson has banged on about the keels and the speed, where do you go from there.

I can't see any reason why the same clarkson, hammond, may banter couldn't be applied to the Vendee Globe. Even more so. May could get behind Rich Wilson and Hammond would be a Sam Davies Fan. Clarkson would only have eyes for Hugo Boss "yeah it's got a hole in it, but it's a thing of beauty. If this boat was a car it would be an AMG Black".

JP said...

Carol Anne: good suggestion, telenovela Vendee Globe is bound to be a big hit (will do the writing project soon, promise).

Smilicus: Totally agree, bit Top Gear fan.

David Fuller: Hmmm... I've had a few ideas for possible Top Yacht shows so watch this space!