Friday, April 01, 2011

JP accepts adverts shock!!

It's a sad day here at JP HQ where we've finally accepted a big fat cheque in order to run the above advert. Alas the number of zeros were just too tempting, so take it away, Buff Enterprises!!

G'day all, Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature!!!

I'm here today to bring you a special offer you just can't resist!! Is your blog dull? Do you want a bit more bzing?? Well look no further, for I've got just the thing you need - a couple of exclamation marks!!

That's right, we at Buff Enterprises are here to provide you with the punctuation value-added that can only add excitement to the most boring of sentences! As we cater for all tastes - just look at a sample of the selection on offer:
You don't need any training or special equipment - just sprinkle wildly over any document for some added B.S. magic!!

Order yours today - you know it makes sense!!

This is Buff Staysail, CEO of Buff Enterprises, supplier of exclamation marks to the stars, over and out!!

Warning: large exclamation marks are heavy and should be moved only by persons with suitable heavy lift equipment. Over use of exclamation marks can make text and reader tired. Recommended dosage - one per sentence maximum. Not recommended for those being examined for their written English. Some writers can be allergic to their use - anyone suffering from F.Scott Fitzgerald syndrome are advised NOT to purchase this product.

Updated: Oh dear, the cheque from Buff Enterprises bounced, so its back to ad free blogging then.


O Docker said...

This is just brilliant, Buff!

I have been looking for these marks for years, to no avail!

I thought they all had to be turned in when Germany converted to the Euro!

JP said...

You forget Euro directive EN/3002/2002-4-1/EM which defined EU policy on the exclamation mark:euro exchange rate. Ground breaking stuff, alas now forgotten.

My favourite of the day so far (for techies)

Tillerman said...

Talking of zeros I had an email conversation with one of those people wanting to pay me to put links on my blog this week.

She offered X.

I said I wouldn't even consider such a derisory offer.

She increased her offer to 4X.

I said I might consider 40X and asked her if there was a problem with her computer keyboard because it seemed incapable of typing a number with enough zeros on the end.

I haven't heard back from her...


bonnie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bonnie said...

Oh my god, what an heinous thing to put in front of a confessed exclamatioholic!!!!!!

Carol Anne said...

This is ripe for cap-and-trade. Give each online entity a set quantity of exclamation points it can issue. If that entity wishes to use more exclamation points, it may purchase rights to use them from other entities who are not using their full allocation. Problem solved.

bowsprite said...

here are some at half price:

JP said...

I think I've over spent mine and will have to live on half rations for the rest of the year, unless can trade some unused characters.

I could probably swop some { or } for those exclamation marks of yours Bonnie.

Either that or Buff has nicked my reserve supply of exclamation marks.