Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Buff Staysail Phone Hacking Scandal
G'day all! Buff Staysail here, Buff by name and Buff by nature!
Well I don't know what to say, though my lawyer suggests something on the lines of deep regret, error of judgement bla bla ... but really, don't they know how are it is to make a living nowadays as a hack? - oops, I mean journo. It's not my fault, honest, its just too easy with the latest temporal phone-hack technology.
It's not like its going to harm anyone, is it? Take for example these answer phone messages from some famous sailors and their relatives:
[Penelope]: Hi Pen, its me Odysseus. Guess what - we won! Anyhow me and the boys (background sound of a girl giggling) are heading out to celebrate. I might be a bit late - don't wait up!
[Columbus]. This relates to your travel insurance application. I'm afraid that all travel west of the Canary Islands is explicitly excluded due to clause 34.1: "Sailing near the edge of the world". Please contact us if you still want to proceed.
[Drake]: That wasn't funny. Leave the King's beard alone - no more singeing, ok
[Morgan]: Bad news Captain, the Spanish rang and they want Panama back. Better make sure you leave it as you found it
[Kidd]: Hi Kidd, this is the Pirate's PR Agency. Listen, this is fixable. We've a plan involving the King's mistress and a stage show. Just send a gold bar or two round and we'll get cracking
[Cook]: Trust me Captain, Hawaii on Valentines Day is to die for!
[Nelson]: Hey sweetie its me, Emma (above). What's all this about you and Hardy kissing? Are you going all bi-curious on me? Ring me!
[Sir Thomas Lipton]: Stick to the day job, tea boy!!! (background chants of U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! etc)
Of course I might have missed a few, so please feel free to complete the list.
This is Buff Staysail, over and out when you hear the beep!