Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cathy and Heathcliff - lost on the moors!

EXT: the moors where Wuthering Heights was filmed. Visibility is poor but improving: out of the mists come HEATHCLIFF and CATHERINE.

Oh Heathcliff my love I fear that we have made a grievous error and are now lost upon these desolate moors! We shall die forsaken: what a terrible fate! But be comforted by the fact that we will be together, forever!

Alas it is worse than that - I will miss the footie!

But what is this? A tree? Will it be a better signpost than those false rocks?

We must hurry though, the kick-off is mere minutes away.

So what can our heroes learn from this tree? Can you help them reach safety in time for Heathcliff to see the kick-off?


Emily Brontosaurus said...


Oh Heathcliff, we are saved - a stooped and weathered tree doth appear from the mists, to guide us safely home!


Oh my dearest Catherine, yes, so bent and shaped is the tree by winds which rage relentless from the sea and which have tirelessly done so since time began, that we are now easily set upon our homeward course.


No, you tedious mutton head, someone has carved into the tree trunk the inscription "Wuthering Heights This Way, two furlongs". Do you think you might stop your floral babble for a minute and Google on your iPhone whatsoever a 'furlong' might be?

Siri said...

Emily, you are on the right tracks.

The prevailing wind is from the south-west.

The tree is therefore pointing north-east.

Please re-charge me now.