Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wuthering Heights - Naturally


EXT: Moors where they shot Wuthering Heights. Moody sky with dark clouds driven by a fierce wind.

CATHERINE
Heathcliff!

HEATHCLIFF
Cathy!

They run towards each other and embrace.

CATHERINE
Oh my beloved Heathcliff, what raptures it is to be in your strong arms, to feel protected against the harsh world alone with the wind and clouds for company, my love growing stronger, wrapping around your soul to gain the nourishment that mere food can not compare.....

Fade out, then fade into:

CATHERINE
...and so my beloved Heathcliff my love is as strong as those rocks whose countenance is so like your manly face engraved as it is into my heart, by spirits climb as a lark blown across the stormy sky....

Fade out (seems like we were a bit hasty). Lets try again and fade into:

CATHERINE
...my love, my only one, for whom I live, for whom my soul breaths, and without whom life itself meant nothing, to be with you is to be complete!!

Beat

HEATHCLIFF
And I think you're right fit, lass

Beat

CATHERINE
Oh alas, woe is upon us, for as we have been engrossed in our love a mist has descended, cutting us off, as even an island with two occupants upon a sea of heather! How are we to find our way home to Wuthering Heights?

HEATHCLIFF
But what is this? A path, bound by dry stone walls on either side! And 'tis good stone work that, nicely laid.

CATHERINE
Aye, maybe these two walls can aid us in our hour of need! Tell us your secrets, oh ancient stones: which way be west?


So readers, can you help our young lovers? Which of the two walls should be on their left and which on the right if they are to make their way west to Wuthering Heights?

4 comments:

O Docker said...

CATHERINE

Alas, oh my strong Heathcliff, be these not dappled lichens upon the first wall, born of a love between souls so disparate, the fungi and the algae, that are drawn inevitably together as are we, the fungi drawing its strength from the algae, which, in turn, so seek the sun's succor?

HEATHCLIFF

Oh yes, oh yes, my sweet Catherine, and is this not the moss, so green, upon the opposing wall, which has no such need of the sun's constant biding?

CATHERINE

Oh Heathcliff, are we not thus saved by keeping the first wall to our right in our wetsward quest, that we may continue on to our destination, spinning as we go these lengthy lines, so floral and convoluted, that they are nearly impossible for readers to unravel?

One of the people whom Christmas forgot said...

Did they ever find the wet sward?

Hindley said...

Ah-ha! I have managed to send Catherine and Heathcliff the wrong way!! They will be lost in the moors and die a horrible death!

They didn't spot that Wall 1 was definitely greener indicating it was wetter and drier and hence north facing while on Wall 2 many stones had dried out.

So to go West those two would need to have Wall 1 on the left and Wall 2 on their right.

Soon Wuthering Heights will be mine!!

Heathcliff said...

Oh enough, enough, my sweet Catherine, of this endless plodding through mists and mire and moors, whose mute mosses mouth only mysteries, when the senses of my iPhone 4 shall be cleared with a mere figure of eight wave of my heavy hand and lead us by its compass rose once again to our happy home - praise be to the spirit of the sacred Jobs who must surely guide us now from his throne in heaven.